So, at first I was like noooo it's too expensive, and noooo I'm 99.9% sure I'm moving back to the US in July/August so why go now...
But then my friend Nichole was like, shut up with all that talk, GO. Her rationale was that yeah, it's expensive, but the Japanese government will send me like 3 times that amount once I return to the US in pension, and that I NEED to go for my psyche. She said that she isn't even that uncomfortable in Japan (she is pretty much fluent, so much so that she will be the first native English speaker to go to grad school in Oita starting in July, and these are not special classes for foreigners or anything, she is doing it in Japanese), but she STILL stood in Target for like an hour basking in the complete understanding she had of everything around her.
That sounds so awesome... at a Target with a Starbucks, obviously.
To sit at Barnes & Noble with a pile of books that I found perusing... a hobby of mine I haven't enjoyed in over 2 years... heaven.
I think it will be healing and enlightening. I think it will make the time I have in Japan after my trip even better. I will see it with fresh eyes.
So, I leave Japan from Fukuoka on December 20th and after a change in Dallas, arrive in Tampa the same day at 2pm. I'll be in Florida from December 20th until January 3rd. I am looking forward to meeting my nephew Aiden, seeing my family that I haven't seen in 2 1/2 years, and seeing lots of friends. I hope that my best friends from Miami and North Carolina can come to see me. I miiiiight go to Gainesville, but I don't see myself doing much traveling within Florida once I get there from JAPAN. I'm so looking forward to bringing Knox around to see everyone, and sharing my beautiful boy with so many family and friends that haven't seen him since he was 16 months old!!
I'm also looking forward to experiencing Christmas and New Year's, and bringing good presents back to people in Japan, now that I understand what good omiyage is. Megan and I shall have a chai, but it looks like our lunch place isn't there anymore. Ayne and I shall have wine while our boys sleep.
I have something really special to look forward to. I will not be sitting on my butt at school, feeling useless and bored. There's more to life than money, and this trip is valuable to me in less calculable but very significant ways. And I didn't pay for this trip with a credit card, I paid "cash," so I'm not creating debt, at least.
I'm gonna connect, and while I'm there, I can talk to some brilliant and trusted friends and look around at that world and decide what to do next. I think being there will give me confidence. From so far away, it's hard to feel sure, but when I'm standing there, I think I will think to myself, I can do this.
My faith has grown recently. I've been praying a lot, and I can really feel the difference in my body. I pray for resolve, and for my resolve not to waiver. I pray that I will remember that I don't have to know or do everything, that the path is laid out for me; I don't have to lean on my own understanding. I pray for the guidance and strength to endure all that will come at me in the next year. I pray for my life to be simple.
Now let's do some pelvic thrusting with Neil. Skip into 1:00 to skip the intro, and the good thrusting is at 1:14. Sing into a hairbrush or a spatula.
Coming To America