Tuesday, September 18, 2012

The Dentist

Last week I needed a drink, so I found the vending machines on the 7th floor.  I surveyed the territory as my drink fell, and there shined a shiny dentist's office.  I like shiny things and I need a dentist, so I went in for a closer look.  It was like in the movies when certain words jump out at you from a secret document: 

Blah, blah, blah                                                  wa wa wa wa wa
New York University  ladi da di doo       
                         woo wooo wooooo             American Dental Association
yadda yadda yadda

I was like, yo, somebody around here has to speak English.  And the dentist did, so I made an appointment for the next week.

I had my appointment yesterday.  The dentist was really nice and funny and happens to be the husband of the daughter of the doctor that runs my local clinic, about a block from my apartment.  He took a quick look and a full 'round the head x-ray, and we talked about what I wanted, chiefly my wisdom teeth removed.  He had also mentioned a cleaning.  When I sat back in the chair we looked at the x-rays and he pointed out the teeth in the back of my mouth that I was told by American dentists may someday cause me problems.  He said, "Which one do you want out first?" I said, "I don't know..."  -I quickly considered my lower teeth crowding issues and chose the one on the side with the worst squeeze, not that I have any actual knowledge that those teeth will relax into the new space- "...the bottom left, I guess."  

The dentist: "OK, wanna do it?"
Tiffany: "What?  Right now?"
The dentist: "Yeah." 
Tiffany: "I thought this was kind of a big deal!"
The dentist: "No way, it's so easy."
Tiffany: (in shock) "OoOooO KaAaAy."

I was freaking out, and as he put some numbing gel in my mouth, my heart started pounding out of my chest.  The dentist was teasing me the whole time about being nervous and just kept telling me how easy it was to remove this tooth.  He was so chillaxed about the whole thing, it helped me relax and I was a little better after that.

I think he put the gel on so I wouldn't even feel the needle when he next did the local anesthetic.  Once the area was numb I think he screwed something into the tooth and then worked it out.  He had to pull so hard that I had to hold my jaw in place on the right side with my fist, but I didn't feel a thing.  It was done.  Easy.  Even now I've never had any pain, only a bit of discomfort.  He gave me my tooth in a cute little tooth-shaped case on a rubber band around my wrist.  Get this: Everything, including the procedure, antibiotics and the pain meds came to under $40.  And that's why I got it done in Japan.  I just saved a few THOUSAND dollars.

I have two more wisdom teeth which I will consider having out when this one is all healed up.  The one on top is fine, so I probably will leave it there.  The other one on the bottom does have a bit of gum just over the back, so when my current removal anxiety wears away I'll probs have that one out, too, although I read on a website that if you have had no problems by the age of 30 then you are probably ok.  Although, that doesn't really make sense to me.

My throat is REEEEAAAAAALY dry.  But I haven't had any pain- haven't even taken any of the pain meds.  I can feel it, but it doesn't really hurt, and I take enough pills without tossing that on top.  I latch onto news stories of old and never forget them.  The one that comes to mind now is the one about the Mexican guy who read his English language prescription wrong.  

It said take 1 2-times per day.  He took 12.  He died.

Not that anything like that is gonna happen, but I'd rather just not take something if I don't have to rather than worry about the interactions between things I got from four different sources.  But really, who takes 12 of anything?  

I'm going for a follow-up today.  I wish I had more interesting things to say.  But I don't.

From Japan,

Sunday, September 2, 2012

Rump Shaker

The time has come for me to rouse remembrance of the anthem of '92, for us to call to mind that a wiggle and a jiggle can make the night complete, and for Rump Shaker to rise again.  I now take upon myself the responsibility of restoring hip-hop's Wreckx-N-Effect to the cultural awareness.  

Why?  Cause all I wanna do is zoom-a-zoom-zoom-zoom and a-boom-boom.
People got young, see, and they forgot the Rump Shaker.  My friends, heed the call of this #1 Billboard Hot Rap Single of 1992.  Without further ado, I present:

Rump Shaker


I don't think I need to say more.  Now let me see you shake your rump like a rump shaker.

From Japan,