I want to live in the country.
Sometime during college, I think, I decided I wanted a cow. And some chickens would be cool, too. A goat. Lots of cats running around. Two horses, to keep each other company. Dogs, I guess, if someone else wants to entertain them. And I guess then I need another cow. Cows need friends, too.
I had no context for these animals. I have always loved animals and I just knew that I'd like to live around them and take care of them, be friends with them, learn from them...
Then, separately, I think, I decided that I wanted to grow some of my own food. This happened because I feel the alienation that occurs from never experiencing where my food comes from. I have never grown anything. I have never killed anything. I have never been part of the process. I think that's wrong, and I want to grow at least some of my own food. I want to connect to the Earth. I want to rid myself of the disconnect I feel because I don't know how to take care of myself without a grocery store nearby.
I'm a tree hugger. I have literally hugged trees. I would do it more often if I weren't shy of passersby. I believe in the power of nature. On the other side of the card, I feel the danger of metal and wires. I would like to get rid of my cell phone. Once, the company took my phone for a week to fix some things, and I felt relieved to be without it. In Gainesville I went more than a year without a cellphone and liked the experience. I feel better when I spend time outside, in nature. Studies show that people suffer less depression and have better focus when they spend time around trees, even showing higher test scores and productivity if they just have trees outside their windows. I want less metal and plastic, more trees and water.
The city is what people complain it is; dirty, noisy, people are rude... dangerous, although there are dangers in any setting...
Knox loves movies. He asks to watch movies almost every morning. I give in on weekend mornings the most because I know when a picture is rolling he's absolutely glued to it and I can sleep longer. I don't want him watching movies, I want him exploring, reading, playing. I want him developing by the power of nature, not being numbed by the power of TV.
There's a place in Summerville, Tennessee, called The Farm. I heard about it from a book I read when I was pregnant, written by Ina May Gaskin, the most famous midwife in the world and a very well respected woman for her publications, perspectives, and teachings on the topics of pregnancy and birth. Her home base is The Farm, an intentional Community. When I found out about it, I felt strongly that I wanted to live there, for a few years at least. I don't know if that'll ever happen, but the place is cool. This Vanity Fair article is old, but still relevant enough to give a good idea of what The Farm is about.
About The Farm: http://www.vanityfair.com/politics/features/2007/05/thefarm200705
It embodies everything I want; to get away from "normal" (crazy) society, to be around people with the cajones and the passion to do something about the shit state of things, to use advancements in technology and thoughts to live better lives and help people (not to just make more money), to be engaged with the world in a peaceful, positive way...
Anyway, I have to think about what I want to do when I get back to America. I don't want the "same-old." It doesn't work. The people doing that aren't happy or thriving. I've got more thinking to do.