Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Keep on Truckin'

Yesterday...

I've had a pretty productive day.  I taught a Halloween lesson, and I brought my Halloween lights to class that my mom sent me.  They are skulls that flash and they are attached to a box that plays creepy music and screams.  It was cool to bring them in and see the student's reactions.  I did not get my pumpkin carved in time for class today, but I will have this class next Tuesday and I will have my Jack-o-Lantern then.  Contrary to popular belief, you can totally carve the green Japanese pumpkins if you find one that is big enough, and it really doesn't have to be that big. 

I also got a stack of essays corrected.  These essays have become a bi-weekly occurrence, and they are really shakin' up my weekly routine of blogging and arranging my social calendar, ya know what I mean?  I have barely had time to manage my e-mails, and I simply have not had the time to correct and re-order from Victoria's Secret.  How dare my school delay my enjoyment of new unmentionables, eh?  (PS: I'm totally kidding.) 

As for VS, they jacked up my order royally, and their error with my address delayed my package over a month.  Tiffy not happiness.  I got on the phone and said, "Please be very nice to me, because I am very disappointed by you."  They asked me what I wanted, and I said that all I wanted was for them to pay my return shipping in addition to giving me free express shipping on my new order, so that this panty mayhem can be smoothed out as quickly as possible.  They complied, but I haven't had time to reorder yet.

You see, you can't get normal bras in Japan.  They are all super frilly and weird.  I think they can wear stuff like that here because many Japanese women wear at least two layers, so the smoothness of the bra isn't really an issue.  I don't know.  All I know is that bra and underwear satisfaction levels are reaching a critical low.  And I want the one perfume that I have ever liked; Heavenly.

In other shopping news, I got an iPhone4.  I'm always angry at a new phone for at least a week, and it has only been 4 days.  We are learning to trust each other.  We are adjusting each others settings and expectations.  We should be on good terms by the weekend.  My iPhone4 and I actually had a lovely morning together.  I took photos of my students on the very decent camera, and I looked up an acronym that one of my students used, without leaving my seat in the agora.  I've figured out the messaging and e-mail quirks, and I'm working on getting an application that will make my emoticons compatible with other phones.  I think we'll be friends, we just need time.

Now I'm finishing up a mochi と anko and a latte.  Yum.

I have to be honest and tell you that I have been hovering at my stress threshold, and at times spilling over.  I can tell you that now because I've settled a little.  This is why I haven't been keeping up with my posts as reliably.  I haven't been able to organize my thoughts, and I would've said something crazy.  Even today's post is a little forced, but I have to keep writing.  I have to!  Sometimes I wonder if my emotions aren't exceeding the severity of my circumstances.  Sometimes I'd really like to disappear.  I am reminded by friends and loved ones that I am not different or alone, and that I am in an extraordinary circumstance, so I'm allowed a little leeway.  One of my friends asserted that all we friends in Japan haven't known each other for long, haven't spent all that much time with each other, and that we are really all still strangers.  We have been here for over a year now, and I think some of my relationships are moving past that, but for the most part, it's pretty true.  Also, more than one person has said that they would've been packed and gone by now.  I'm certainly not packing.  I like it and I want to stay...  In this foreign world, where we are all so far from our usual supporters, we have to be here for each other, and luckily for the most part, we are.  I'm glad I got dropped into the pot with a lot of motivated and social people.  I'm really grateful for them. 

I am faced with so much uncertainty right now.  I am faced with a loss of security.  It's not so much what is happening that is so stressful, but it is the contrast of what is happening in comparison to what I have come to expect.  For a long time, a certain vision of my future has persisted.  It has been etched into me.  But the etching no longer represents what is in store for me.  That kind of thing is hard to remove.  It's hard to adjust.  My strength of spirit is remarkable, but sometimes I wonder if my mind and body can keep up.  My friends give me perspective and assure me that they can and will.  To those who have sent messages, called, and prayed for me, and to those who have shared time with me in recent weeks, thank you.  I'm a little too good at looking like I'm calm and collected all the time.  I blame it on acting lessons.

Seriously though, we all put on a strong face for the world.  When someone asks us how we are we say, basically, that we are fine.  We just have to do our best and keep on truckin'.  In the mean time I'll keep adjusting, and enjoying this foreign world.

From Japan,
Tiffany

1 comment:

Megan said...

Was going to send you a FB message and then thought I'd check your blog first! I remember going into VS with you at Brandon Mall...funny I had only known you for a short period of time...never know what your experience will be like with a new friend at VS!
Hope you can figure out your order soon ;)

I'm not good at surprises or dealing with surprises, and so even though your new journey is not a surprise, the fact that your thoughts of what would be no longer match up with what will be can still be understandably difficult to grasp. I hope that made sense. I'm just saying I see what you're saying and I see how adjusting to that could be difficult. That's all ;)