Tuesday, July 19, 2011

A Song, Sort Of, But Not Really

(I stole the chorus from Tenacious D.  You probably wouldn't even know if I didn't tell you, but I don't roll like that.  I give props.)

I recently came to the conclusion that in Japan, you can just add heels and a scrunchie to any outfit and you are automatically ready for a dinner date. 

I hate to admit this, but... I, um... iboughtascrunchie.

Alright, alright.  I bought a scrunchie.  I spent 300 little yennies on elastic and cloth and ribbon.  I'm not proud, it was pressure from society. 

My scrunchie is black.  I haven't worn it in public yet, but I will soon.  And only I will feel the burn of the late 80s/early 90s.  Japanese people will look at me and think I look fancy, with my concealed hair tie.  Maybe they will even ask me where I got my scrunchie.  But I will know that something is very wrong.  And now for the chorus...

I'm gonna kick your a**, from here, to right over there
Oh, yeah mutha f#$%a, I'm gonna kick your f#$%ing derriere, yeah-ee-yeah
You broke the rules, now I'll pull out all your pubic hairs
You mutha f#$%a

So, when I study for the GRE, I use certain pens.  When I study for math, I get down to business with my black/blue/red multicolored pen, so that I can code what I know, what I don't, and what I'm totally leotarded at.  When I study for verbal, I have to have a Jetstream 0.7.  I will tolerate writing with a 0.5, but anything else and I resent my pen while I'm studying, and I throw insults at it, like, "God, pen, you are so fat and incompetent."  ...all of which led me to a question:  If my pen has a finer point, will the ink last longer?  Think about that one.  I don't know for sure, but maybe it's one of those unanswerable questions of the Universe.

I'm gonna kick your a**, from here, to right over there
Oh, yeah mutha f#$%a, I'm gonna kick your f#$%ing derriere, yeah-ee-yeah
You broke the rules, now I'll pull out all your pubic hairs
You mutha f#$%a

I always have to wash my hands after I use chalk.  I like writing with chalk - orange is my favorite chalk color - but as soon as I'm in class writing with chalk, I rub my fingers together like an autistic kid until I get to a sink.  That's not really that interesting, but I needed a third verse.  Listen to Train's lyrics.  They aren't that good either. 

From Japan,
Tiffany

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